Exerpt from my personal diary written December 8th, 2009
“Last night was a spectacle of friendship and the unbelievable fellowship created and maintained by the members of our ward family found here in San Clemente.
Lara and Chris Carlin hosted a goodbye party in behalf of us at their gorgeous home.
There were some 100 people there, all good friends, people that we know, love and will surely miss
My heart was drawn out to sadness, sorrow and regret. Sadness to leave our ward family, sorrow to think of not seeing them ever again, sorrow to leave this fair city and its charms. Sadness to not see their children grow up, to not see them progress and live out their lives.
Regret to have not created more strong, long-lasting relationships with more of them. Regret in not talking to, helping out, friendshipping. Regret not to have magnified my calling more, regret to not have been valiant in my home teaching, not serving more valiantly. It’s not bittersweet, just bitter.
I don’t want to think about it. I just hope and pray that I’ll think back to them and this place with radiant thoughts of joy in the coming years.
I took my Rolleiflex to the party and took a few pictures. Thats one thing that I wish that I’d have done more of thoughout our sojourn in California. I should’ve shot more of normal life with friends and parties and the place, San Clemente.
We’re going back to Idaho. Back to the place where we started from. It’s a warm place at the table where we’re going. We’ll be fine. But I’ll perhaps never fully get over the dream that I had and the reality that existed down here in our little place in San Clemente.
God grant balm for our hearts and spirits as we lift up, clean up and move up North.
I haven’t cried yet. I’ve felt it well up inside but it hasn’t come. I hope I do sometime to leak out the sadness that I feel.”