First Time Golfing

first time golfin

Solve this story problem:

A ski boat is towing a wakeboarding idiot at 21 MPH. As the idiot approaches the wake to do a “jump” he achieves the speed of 40 MPH. The wakeboarder rises up to his customary “big air” of 1.3 feet and lands on the leading edge of the wakeboard. The front edge of his wakeboard becomes the fulcrum of a swinging angle with the wakeboard at the bottom and his wide open eyes at the top.

How much lake water will leak from his eye sockets over the next three days?

A few months after my 30th birthday I was flat-out on my back floating in the middle of Lucky Peak lake. I couldn’t see clearly because of the lake water in my eye sockets. I could feel the boat rumbling next to me but because I couldn’t see it clearly, I just laid in the lake looking up at the blurry blue sky. I could hear my brother Josh, laughing. I thought to myself “I need a new hobby”.

That’s when I decided to try golf.

Golf is hard. Learning to golf takes a lot of patience. If you’re not willing to feel angry and hopeless for a couple of years don’t try it. I really wanted to golf so with the help of my brother and an OCD personality I did it. I’m what I call a functional golfer. I can hit the ball almost every time I want to, and I know how far a 9 iron will go (135 yards). I’m not a good golfer, but I have my moments of brilliance.

This year at the Ball family reunion we guys took a morning to golf. My nephews, Alex and Wes, came along. They were raw first timers. Watching them golf was at once fun and painful. I tried to help with good tips but the usual “keep your head down” and “don’t try to kill it” and “let the club do the work” didn’t work. Like everything else in life it takes time and effort to learn.

I try to be a good uncle. After family events I usually ask myself, “Was I a good uncle at that event?” Being a good uncle is cool because you have no real responsibility to be one. In fact, you could be a sour, distant uncle and no one would say anything. It’s completely voluntary. But being a a good uncle means a lot to the nephews and nieces. So I try. Now, let’s be clear. I’m ‘trying’ to be a good uncle. Like golf I have my moments of brilliance with my N&N’s but usually I perform at a highly mediocre level.

Help me solve this problem:

A friend of mine is trying to be a good uncle. He talks to his nephews and nieces whenever he sees them and will sometimes even play a game or throw a ball to them. He keeps trying, but he’s still only a good uncle. What does he need to do to be a great uncle?

One comment

  1. You’re a GREAT uncle (and not the “geneology” definition!) The boys LOVE to hear you tell your crazy stories and think you are hilarious! And the bonus…you are a wonderful example of how true men love God and their family. Problem solved….

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