The most insincere apology ever

Sorry sucker

A major effort by parents around the world is to get their kids to “tell Jimmy you’re sorry”. 

I’ve mostly given up on this routine unless other parents are around me and they expect me to do/say it because the apology is usually one of these “Sorry your face got in the way of my fist Jimmy.” 

A sincere apology should have one major element: sincerity 

I used to be super organized in my business. I had weekly staff training meetings where I’d blather for an hour about any topic that would come to mind. One of the big ones for me was customer service. 

“Listen, I don’t want our customer service system to be a mood based. One day you’re in a great mood so you are gracious to customers. The next day you’re grouchy so you are ruthless. Please be consistently patient.” 

I summarized our customer service system to three things 

Listen, Apologize, Fix 

and 

Great customer service isn’t a smile. It’s a solution. 

It’s simple, right.

Nope, it’s as complicated as a flight deck. 

I am going to remember this succinct apology format given to me by the USPS. It’s as elegant as haiku. 

 

Wrecked your car 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball

Ate your dessert 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball

 

Forgot our Anniversary 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball

 

Lost my Mind 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball 

 

Destroyed your family 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball

 

Went bankrupt on you 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball 

 

Destroyed your ego 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball 

 

Hate your guts 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball 

 

Wrote a worthless blog post 

My Regrets 

Jon Ball 

Anyone want to take a stab at this?

3 comments

  1. Ate all your cookies.
    My regrets.
    RossAnne Gibson

    You look bad in black.
    My regrets.
    RossAnne Gibson

    Couldn’t help you
    My regrets.
    RossAnne Gibson

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