Prognosis:pregnant. Status:Excited

What's going on? Why the hands?

In 1998 our first child was born. She’ll be 12 soon. 

I was finishing my last year at Brooks Institute of Photography. This was the photo we sent to our family members to announce our upcoming birth.  

It was Sam’s idea, to tell everyone we were expecting. I joked/tested the idea/hoped that Sam would go with my idea that we should just show up in Boise on Thanksgiving with a baby. 

Here’s how I saw the scene playing out.

You had a Baby? 

Scene one 

In Jon’s Mothers House.  After a long flight and a cab ride. Jon and Sam walk in with a baby in a car seat. 

MOTHER 

(Furrowed brow. Gravely concerned) 

“Hey..Wait a minute. Who’s baby is that?” 

  

JON 

(Plops car seat down on sofa) 

“It’s our’s. We named her Bailey” 

  

MOTHER 

(Shocked with Hand on chest) 

“You had a baby?” 

  

JON 

(Casually swings the door to the fridge open and says as his head is in the fridge) 

“Yeah, We had her in September. I guess it’s been about two months now. We got real busy at school so we just never got around to saying anything.” “It’s no big deal. We plan on having several more so we wanted to see…” 

  

MOTHER 

(interrupts Jon and whirls him around by his elbow. Slaps his face twice) 

 “YOU HAD A BABY AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US!” 

  

JON 

(Rubbing his cheek) 

“Is there something wrong?” 

  

Luckily Sam didn’t go with my scheme. Instead we sent little handmade darkroom prints to our parents and siblings. I can’t remember the copy we sent with the photograph. If I were to write it today it’d say one of these things: 

“We’ve got an announcement, call us” 

“This photograph of our hands indicates that a child will enter our lives in approximately 8 months. Thank you” 

“WE’RE PREGNANT!” 

“Prognosis:pregnant. Status:Excited.” 

 “When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for two people to combine biology and form a more perfect person. It is required by normal social decorum to announce said combination in an interesting way.” 

We’ve got a week to go before Sam delivers our 5th child. I am so excited to meet Kimi. I feel giddy.

7 comments

  1. Mom may have actually punched you in the nose, not just a slap in the face. That would have been awesome. I still want to announce a baby while passing a food item at the table, it would go something like this:

    Hey Jon could you pass the salt, oh by the way we are pregnant, oh and could you pass me the jam as well.

    Thanks

  2. Your announcement would have more than likely said this: “we have an announcement, call us. Oh wait, we wont answer.” or something like this: “This photograph of our hands indicates that a child will enter our lives in approximately 8 months and you will never see us sitting down at the same time again.” That sounds a bit more realistic. :)

  3. PS, I would have punched you in the nose as well if I heard about baby Bailey for the first time at Thanksgiving. Thanks for not making me do that.

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