Sam and I frequently reminisce about the days before there were 5 kids in our lives. We used to get up on Saturday mornings and decide what to do. Should we go to the farmers market? How about go shopping for socks? Who are we meeting for lunch? How long can our nap last today before we go to the movies?  

I enjoyed sitting in the bathroom watching  Sam do her hair and primp herself for the day. It was so interesting to me. Our conversations would be lively and interesting.  

“You actually blew a snot-bubble in front of your 7th grade class when you laughed?”  

“Yep – it was the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.”  

“Mine was when I exited a movie theatre to a crowded lobby and noticed a girl who I had a crush on. I waved to her and walked into the velvet ropes.  An entire catacombs of velvet ropes/brass poles fell down like dominos. I was 16.”  

“My sisters most embarrassing moment was when she farted on a hard plastic chair in class. Every time her friend saw her after that, he would yell “boom!”  

“Do you want to have a house on an acre or a small yard?”  

“I want a lot of room for chickens, and a big garden.”  

“My Dad mowed our garden with a lawn mower one time. My parents thought it would be a good idea to give each child their own garden spot. My sister weeded hers but no one else did, so my dad just mowed it when he did the grass.  That fall I found these huge mutant carrots with a shovel.”  

We spoke about everything for hours. I remember one time we were at dinner and we noticed an older couple sitting at a table in silence waiting for their food. The man kept checking his watch and she was staring out the windows holding a glass of wine. Sam and I agreed that we’d never be like that.  

Getting to know your soul mate takes time. We had plenty of it back then. Oh the memories.  

These days Sam has to shower, do her hair and race through her morning routine. It’s a beat the clock situation because Grace loves to eat deodorant, toothpaste and everything else in the bathroom. She’s always on the prowl for something new to destroy.  

I usually have an email to write or a phone call to make or kids to help or something else that is enormously pressing. I rarely speak to Sam in the morning anymore. Sometimes when the kids go to school we have a few minutes to talk but I get sleepy. Sam instituted a new policy of not talking to me in my comfy chair because of that.  

It’s amazing, the path of life. We are approaching our 15th anniversary in June. It’s almost here. On our 8th anniversary I told Sam that I’d take her to Nevis for our 15th. It seemed so possible back then. It’s impossible now. Too many kids, too many obligations, not enough money. We don’t even really want to go. Leaving our kids is hard. Those little people rely on us. It’s an incredibly sacred thing to have their trust. I am their Daddy – nothing is more important to me.  

I shouldn’t give you the message that I want the old days back. I don’t. These times are incredible. They’ll never be repeated. We love them.  

Grace is always 10 feet or closer to Sam. She is her Mommy- nothing’s more important to Sam than that. 

Even while she does her hair in the morning.