How does a person find true happiness? Is there a formula? What path should I take to find happiness? There are so many conflicting philosophies. Further, how do I fit in the cosmos? What’s the purpose of life?

These are questions that have bothered mankind for millennia. They’ll gnaw at you forever.

I’m a lifelong Mormon. I’ve pondered the doctrine of the LDS church and its answers to these questions for many years. The answers I’m going to provide are based on a combination of Mormon doctrine and my observations of living over 50 years.

Mormon doctrine has slowly been revealed to our prophets and leaders since 1820. The church is almost 200 years old. We have mountains of scripture and writings that provide sound answers to questions that have plagued mankind since their creation.

I’ve developed a protocol for finding happiness based on this doctrine and my own philosophies. It’s a plan for finding lasting happiness during our sojourn on Earth.

I call it the Happiness Protocol.

My last blog post was titled “Secrets to Success: Learning the difference between pleasure and peace.” In this blog post, I argue that the only way to find true happiness is to seek peace, not pleasure, and complete peace comes through God’s Spirit. Without His Spirit, you can’t fully experience joy and a sense of well-being.

But even with the Spirit of God in your life, finding peace on Earth, a fallen planet filled with evil, is an elusive thing.

In fact, I only feel a significant sense of well-being and happiness around 20% of the time. The other 80% I feel a mix of neutrality, boredom, sadness, depression, frustration, distress, and other emotions. Emotions that run counter to peace and happiness.

I’m not alone; this is the human condition. Because most of life is difficult and painful. But that’s by design. I’ve found ways to minimize the pain and suffering of life using the Happiness Protocol.

Let’s Start with the Purpose of Life

I believe that our lives on Earth are a unique training ground in our eternal progression. We’re eternal, spiritual beings who have existed and will exist forever. This earthly life in mortal bodies is but one step on our path of eternal progression.

If we choose, our ultimate destination is to become gods ourselves, creating our own galaxies and worlds in the immensity of the limitless expanding universe… I know that’s deep, but I believe God prepared this plan for us, and we’re following the plan.

God exists in this exalted plane. To exist in His perfection, we must be perfect. We have to be clean. Nothing unholy can exist in the presence of God. Christ paid for our sins if we accept His precious gift. His role was to pay for our sins and to teach us the more divine way to live. So, with love, Jesus Christ came to Earth and sacrificed Himself to pay for our sins. He’s the key to our successful eternal progression.

Through this experience on Earth and the next life, we’re developing ourselves to higher and higher levels of sophistication, eventually to perfection, through the Atonement of Christ.

Our time on Earth is critical to our eternal progression. We’re here on this mortal Earth learning lessons that only gravity, physical pain, and frustration on a fallen planet wearing mortal suits of flesh can teach us.

Yep, we came here to learn things we can’t learn anywhere else.

We didn’t come to Earth to gratify our ambitions, explore exotic roads of pleasure, or fight and curse God. No, we came here to learn and be tested in mortality.

So, on this Earth, when I get a profound sense of well-being and happiness, I bask in it. I completely enjoy it, knowing that it’s going to fade soon enough. Earthly life doesn’t allow anyone to have continuous happiness.

But we can find peace. We can find happiness. It’s possible.

But God won’t just “give” you happiness. He created the Earth and the plan to teach us these vital lessons in mortality. He basically “set up” the Earth and sent us here to fend for ourselves. We’re to use our free will to figure it all out. Because of free will, we’re completely in charge of our own journey. Life on Earth is, and always will be, a DIY project.

Life is difficult, yes, but we can learn to live with relative peace through the Spirit of God during our short sojourn here on Earth.

The Happiness Protocol is all about maximizing peace while we’re here. The plan is fully realized if you choose to pursue the Spirit of God in your life. I suggest that you search for that blessing, but you can enjoy a measure of peace and happiness without it. You just won’t experience a fullness of joy.

Taking Responsibility

Whether or not we acknowledge it, we all make decisions all day, every day, about what we do and how we feel. It’s all up to us. Our lives are our responsibilities.

No one can make your decisions for you. No one can dictate how you feel. It’s up to you.

Therefore, taking responsibility for your decisions and feelings is the first step to find lasting peace and happiness. Sounds simple, right?

Nope. This critical first step is easily overlooked. People use blame, excuses, and delusions to justify and explain their life, choices, and feelings. Many people refuse to take the critical step of accepting responsibility for themselves.

It’s painful to acknowledge your role in the problems of your life. It’s easier to point the finger of blame for your unhappiness and wallow in those feelings forever.

It’s difficult to accept that you’re responsible for your life, especially if others have harmed you.

The truth is that you’re solely responsible for your life and happiness. If you can accept that responsibility, you can begin to seek the peace that “passeth all understanding.”

But without accepting responsibility, you’ll never tether yourself to the truth. And as usual, the truth shall set you free.

Seeking Peace

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” (John 14:27).

If happiness through peace is your goal, you need to diligently and continuously eliminate or reduce everything in your life that subverts peace.

Peace = thoughtful living, good habits, a clear understanding of what’s important, and seeking God’s Spirit. Peace = Happiness.

And it’s all free. You don’t need money to buy happiness. You just need to organize your life to be filled with peace and the Spirit of God.

That’s why the Happiness Protocol exists. It’s designed to help eliminate things in life that subtract from peace. Things that add chaos and frustration in life. Once you’ve accepted responsibility for your own life and happiness, you can start to look more carefully at the things that are taking from your peace.

Because most of life’s problems are self-inflicted.

The Happiness Protocol is meant to identify these detractors so you can eliminate the problems in your life. This reduces negative emotions from your life. But it’s a process. A never-ending process of identification and elimination of detractors from peace.

Negative Emotions

“In the world ye shall have tribulation” (John 16:33).

80% of life is made of struggle, boredom, stress, feelings of self-loathing, and frustration.

Struggle can lead to hopelessness.

Boredom can lead to loneliness.

Stress can lead to anxiety and panic.

Self-loathing creates a downward spiral of depression.

Frustration can lead to anger.

These negative emotions are normal. But if you never address them, they’ll go unchecked. That leads to much stronger negative feelings. Learning how to stay within a reasonable range of negativity is important because life is filled with negativity. Managing the negative is key. We need to lower the overall effect of negative emotions created by things within your control.

That way, you’re only dealing with outside influences which may drag you down.

The idea is to reduce chaos and increase peace.

The Happiness Protocol Checklist

Below is a list that you need to address in order to keep negativity at a minimum and maximize time feeling good.

I believe happiness is derived through living a peaceful, organized life and seeking the Spirit of God.

So, removing negative things in your life increases your sense of peace.

Again, life is hard. Being happy is hard. But you can cultivate the environment that supports peaceful living and invites the Spirit of God.

Examine the list below for deficiencies in your life that escalate negative feelings beyond acceptable levels and cause undue heartache and pain in your life. It’s the Happiness Protocol. It’s a little complex, but that’s life. Life is complex!

Exercise

Do you get regular exercise? How much do you move your body? Do you walk? Do you lift weights? Do you get that frequent shot of endorphins that your body naturally releases when you do a vigorous workout? It’s an easy way to lift your spirits and prolong your life. You don’t have to go to the gym and “work out.” You can walk, run, or take the stairs instead of the elevator. Movement of your body is key.

Weight

Are you overweight? Is that extra weight causing mental or emotional distress? Do you hate your body? These issues can drive happiness right out of your life. Find a reasonable weight that you’d like to achieve and decide to work toward it.

Dental Health

Are your teeth in pain? Can you eat and chew as you’d like? If not, go see a dentist to get a plan for better dental health.

Hygiene

Do you shower often? Do you get regular haircuts? Do you keep your fingernails and toenails clean and trim? These questions might seem silly, but better personal hygiene can help lift your spirits and help you feel better about yourself. It’s an inexpensive way to find a little peace in this chaotic world.

Spirituality

Do you believe that you have a spiritual side? Do you attend church? Do you read the scriptures? Do you pray? Do you believe in God? Neglecting your spirit removes you from the influence of God in your life. A huge missed opportunity for peace and happiness.

Sociality

Do you hide in your house and avoid people? Do you have a place or activity that promotes friendships? Do you have friends? Do you invest time with them? Being around other people is vital to happiness, even if it’s difficult for you. You need people in your life. Life on Earth is meant to be shared.

Love

Do you have someone to love? Does someone love you? Do you get regular affection? It’s exceedingly hard to be happy without love.

Companionship

Do you have companionship? Does the one who loves you or whom you love spend quality time with you? If you don’t have a spouse for companionship, do you have friends who can fill that role for you?

Financial Stability

Do you live within your means? Do you carry undue debt? Are you stressed about how you’ll make it month to month? Chaos in this area of life causes massive suffering. Resolve debt, lower your expenses, and save money. This should be an easy one to resolve if you want it badly enough. Keeping up with the Joneses is a terrible way to live. Live well within your means and fix the problem of financial turmoil. Don’t get sucked into the lie of avarice and debt. Paying interest on debt is a terrible way to live.

Shelter

Is your apartment, house, condo, or rented room clean and orderly? Do you need to declutter your place? What about the neighborhood you live in? Is it safe? Are there supportive people around you? Having good, clean, safe shelter is an important part of a life of peace.

Food

Do you eat nutritious food? Do you eat too much? Do you need to stop eating certain things to maintain optimal health? Do you try to avoid processed foods, junk food, and sugar? They taste good but are terrible for your health and don’t give you the proper fuel to live successfully.

Clothing

Is your clothing clean and well-fitting? Do you need to get rid of a bunch of clothing that clogs up your closet? Do you need to add to your wardrobe? Do you need to dress more modestly or in a more conservative fashion? Ideally, your clothing represents who you are in a reasonable, practical way. You don’t need expensive, brand-name clothing to look good. Just well-fitting, reasonable quality clothing to be presentable.

Service

What do you do for loved ones or strangers? Do you seek opportunities to serve your family and friends without expectation of return? Serving others is a powerful secret to finding peace and gaining the Spirit of the Lord. If you’re only focused on your own needs, then you’re missing out on one of the true blessings of life: selfless service. Look for ways to serve your fellow man. That can be the person at the gas station who needs help figuring out the gas pump, giving your seat on a flight to a family who wants to sit together, listening to a friend’s problems, taking flowers to someone who is suffering a terrible loss, calling someone who is going through a hard time, visiting someone in the hospital, praying for a friend, etc. The ways to help others are endless. Just decide to help out and look around. Opportunities will emerge. There is so much suffering and sadness in the world. Be a light to others. I wrote a blog post titled “Please Don’t Prioritize Yourself,” which explains this idea further.

Family

Who is in your immediate family? Do you take good care of them? Do you abuse any of them? Can they trust you? Do you need to ask for forgiveness for something you’ve done in the past? Your family, whoever it is, needs to know that you love them and are committed to helping them in any way necessary. If you’ve offended some of them badly enough, a third-party mediator might be necessary to overcome difficulties. Settle problems in your family and feel more peace. I believe that your family is forever. You’ll know them in the great hereafter. Those relationships are vital to the success of your life.

Church

Do you have a church? Do you regularly attend? Church is an amazing place to gain an eternal perspective and meet and network with amazing people. I wrote a blog post about my top 5 reasons for attending church.

Work

Do you have a job? Do you work hard and do your best there? Do you need to switch professions? Do you need to address some problems at work? Your work should fulfill you, earn you enough money to live a good life, and be of use to the community. If you’re unemployed, it’s very difficult to find peace in life. If you can’t work, that’s OK. Find something useful for yourself to do. Being of service to others is vital to your happiness.

Honesty

Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man? Do you cheat others? Do you try to be honest in every way? Compromising your standards by being dishonest is a very negative way to live. It’s very difficult to maintain the Spirit of God if you lie and cheat. The habit of dishonesty can be very difficult to break. Pray for help and watch yourself in every way. It can be overcome, but it will take effort.

Communication

Do you feel able to communicate your feelings? Do you have trouble getting your words out? Are you a safe person for your partner to communicate with? What do you need to do to take steps forward in your communication with your friends and family? Do you speak in anger? I wrote a blog post about speaking in anger that could be helpful. There are books, classes, and YouTube videos that can teach you the skills required to communicate clearly. It often comes down to knowing how to open up and speak from the heart. Almost any problem can be resolved with clear communication. People are generally understanding when someone explains their feelings in the right way.

Addiction

Addictions come in many varieties: food, drink, drugs, sex, your cell phone, anger, fitness, pornography, so many things. They can mask your real feelings and leave you feeling totally out of control. Be honest with yourself about your addictions and address them in the way that makes the most sense. Obtaining peace and happiness won’t happen when a powerful addiction has you in its grip. Addictions replace your freedom with bondage. Be free; get rid of your addictions.

Mental Health

Depression and anxiety are rampant in today’s society. It’s an epidemic. My wife, Samantha, helps people overcome depression and anxiety with RTT. I wrote a blog post all about it. Feeling happy in the midst of depression or anxiety isn’t possible. It’s like a cloud that comes over your mind that won’t let the sunshine through. It’s very difficult. Other mental health challenges can really hamper happiness as well. Find a good therapist and learn to overcome any challenges you may have.

Review the list above and see where you have room to improve. Make a list of the improvements you can make and begin to work on them. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed by the list. It’s meant to be a reference to check yourself against. Make the changes you need to make. If you fail, try again. If you fail again, try again. Solving problems in your life that detract from a peaceful life will pay off very nicely. But it’s going to take a lot of work.

Remember, nothing useful or productive comes easily.

Following the principles and commandments of the gospel of Jesus Christ day by day is the happiest and most satisfying course in life. Elder D. Todd Christofferson – Why The Covenant Path?